Hands are for loving, not hitting

When frustrated, Baby Mo hit — Umi, the floor, sometimes Baby Ais. I didn't hit back (that only teaches that the big may hit the small). I held his hand gently and said the same sentence every time: "Hands are for loving, not for hitting."

Then I showed the right version: "When Mo is upset, say it or stroke, like this." I demonstrated patting. A child forbidden without an alternative gets confused; a child shown the way out learns.

It took dozens of times. But yesterday, upset, Baby Mo raised his hand… then lowered it and hugged instead. Umi nearly cried. Gentleness, it turns out, can be taught, one calm sentence at a time.

Indeed Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness in all things. (Bukhari 6927, Muslim 2165)

That little hand is still learning. But now he knows his hands have a better job than hitting.